My motherhood journey: Dr Mawarni
One of the hardest things in life is to maintain a balance. That is one of my biggest struggles. Your family, spouse and children want their time with you. Your career wants its time. And so, one of the hardest questions to answer for me is, how do I find a balance for all of them?
Today I’m going to share my journey on being a first-time mum and how I balance it with being an associate dentist in Klinik Pergigian Fauziah.
I was blessed with a very easy pregnancy. The only pregnancy symptoms that I had were loss of appetite, and slight back ache towards the end of pregnancy. Some of my patients didn’t even notice I was pregnant since my baby bump was quite small. It only became obvious at my 3rd trimester.
When I told them I will be on maternity leave, some of them said, “You don’t look like you are going to deliver soon, Doctor”. 😉
I remember some advice that patients gave me were to talk a lot to my baby and be prepared for the sleepless nights. So, with regards to work, I didn’t feel there was that much difference. I could not stand for a long time due to physical changes in my body. That symptom could only be felt after my 38th week of pregnancy and onwards anyway.
I believe giving birth is like running a marathon. As an ex-athlete, I knew I needed to be prepared for it. So, I read a few books regarding hypnobirthing (gentle birth), breast feeding and parenting. I really looked forward to have a gentle birth without any drug intervention.
I also put my trust in my obstetrician, Dr Noor Fidak with regards to medical advice. In other words, I would do my best to have the birth natural but if she advised I needed to deliver by caesarian or induction when the time came, I decided that I would surrender myself to her advice as she knew best.
My delivery due date passed and I did not have any early labour symptoms. When I went for my check up, my specialist informed me I might need to wait another week for the baby to decide that it was time. I did many rounds of walking, going up and down stairs, ate more pineapples, had acupressure done and many other things to kick-start my labour. I also passed the time watching a lot of gentle birth and home birth videos and kept my head filled with positive thoughts.
At my final check up, my specialist got me admitted (finally!). I already had 5-mins apart contractions at that time and baby was ready to come out. I was induced with Pitocin at 41 week and 2 days.
My husband was by my side throughout the labour and kept reminding me to stay calm, breath and have faith. I was so grateful to have him by my side.
Many things went into my mind during the intense contractions. I salute all mothers in the world for bearing such pain. I felt like apologizing to my mum at that moment for not treating her good enough. I kept reminding myself that I could do it as billions of mothers have gone through it. I knew I need to be strong to avoid caesarian birth.
After about 6 hours struggling in the labour room, I finally delivered a healthy, adorable 3.2kg baby boy at 6pm in Pusrawi Hospital. My son was brought to me straight away and we had our skin to skin bonding for an hour. I had the opportunity to breast fed him for the first time. That was one of the overwhelming moments in our lives.
My husband cried for 2 reasons. He couldn’t bear to see me in pain and he was too happy to see our new bundle of joy! My son was named after 2 prophets, Muhammad Yusuf. 🙂
Yes, I’ve had my sleepless nights and post-partum blues. Taking care of a new born baby is a tough job. Both my baby and I are still in the phase of getting to know each other.
What surprises me about being a mum is the intense love that I could have for another human being. I never thought I could be that loving and strong. All matters in our lives now revolves around him.
This new little boy had taught me a lot especially patience and love. I never understood this feeling until I become a mother myself. I started to appreciate my mum even more now. I though I really enjoy motherhood, it’s tiring but I know it’s going to be worth it.
Today is my 3rd day working after 2 months of maternity leave. It was tough leaving my baby for the first time but I know he will be in good hands. I pray that Allah will take care of him for me whilst I am away at work.
Back to finding a BALANCE in life, I am happy to work in Klinik Pergigian Fauziah as it provides me a good support system. Also, I get to share my ups and downs as a mother with my other colleagues. (All dentists and staff in our team are ladies!). KPF also provides an environment that allows me to continue to breast feed my child.
The only one asset that everyone has in life is Time. I am really grateful to work in KPF as I get to balance my time between my career and family. I can still be an awesome dentist to my patients and a great loving mother!